我寫我看我聽我讀我想

Wish for an official end of a long vacation of my spirit, and some regularity, and, if it's possible, as well as my intellegence.

Deep inside, been feeling myself in a dull but chaotic state for a long time.

Maybe it's just some imagination, but I've alwayse thought that in the past, I had higher morale, was smarter, and was better to regulate myself.

Only problem is that I couldn't really date when this kind dull but chaotic state really started.

Or was there ever another state before?